Low Man

It is incredibly interesting, wonderful, crazy, and lovely all at the same time when you hear a song for the first time and know that it is essentially narrating exactly where you are at with your life.  Today, I went on a long walk for the first time in a long time.  The first song that flipped on my iPod - Low Man by Alberta Cross - wow.  I just looked up into the sun, let it beat down on my neck, stretching toward it - with my heart, my palms, my chest - I knew that the song was narrating exactly where my heart was at that exact moment.

There is this really sad, real, sexual part about being alone.  About really being alone.  This intensity doesn't enter my hemisphere as often as it used to, but when it does, it is so real and lovely.  I let myself enjoy the sad music and write the words that are on my mind and in my heart - ready to explode somewhere - anywhere.  I used to let the words blow out in my black book - with some color and some cut outs, now it's to my blog I go.

Back to the narrative song.  It reminds me of Elizabethtown.  Elizabethtown shook me.  It is a fucking romantic comedy, but I happened to watch it when I was enamored with my high school heart wrenching, crushing love - when things were actually happening with him.  Not just kid things.  It was one night - but we listened to the Elizabethtown soundtrack the entire time.  Now whenever I hear a song from the album my first love comes back to me - my heart is full of him once again - like it was when I was 16 years old.

This is why music is loved by all.  It gets us in our deepest areas.  Our hearts, our cores, our necks reaching for the sun and it reminds us of humanity - of pain and loneliness.  Today, when I heard the first chord of "Low Man" I felt this strong, intense pleasuring pain in my heart and neck.  It was very physical.  Feelings worth feeling usually appear not only in an emotional form, but physical form.  It is fantastic music when it makes your mind and body dance at the same time.

Low man.  However, I am a low woman.